Goshen County Family Photographer: Getting a Spouse on Board with Family Photos

What recommendations do I have as a Goshen County Family Photographer on helping your WHOLE family love a family photo session?  Read on!

“We haven’t had professional family photos done since the kids were little.”

“My husband hates getting family photos taken.”

“My wife wants photos of the kids but not us because she thinks she’s too heavy.”

“Our photographer last time yelled at my kids and made my wife so mad.  I don’t want to go through that again.”

So many friends and potential clients tell me the same thing…they want to take some new family photos but their spouse is reluctant.

I get it. Believe me, I get it.

There are a hundred reasons why your spouse may be hesitant to have photos done.  Being self-conscious, feeling stiff, the hassle, the expense, the sheer forced fun of it all, the “but you have a good camera, can’t you just take some” reason.  UGH!  No professional photos ever again!

But it doesn’t have to be this way.  Here are five ideas on how you can reframe the discussion about family photos and ensure that you and spouse have a good experience and amazing photos at the end of the process.

1 – Choose the right photographer

Just like teachers, doctors and coaches, photographers have their own unique style and personality.  Research photographers in your area to find some who you feel might be a good fit for your family.  Are you a quiet and shy family that needs someone to show you kindness and patience while you work through your session?  Are you high energy and need someone who is flexible and fun and can keep up?  Is your family a hot mess and you need a photographer that is going to be the dictator and get you all in line by yelling and being blunt and ramrodding your into submission?

There are lots of photographers in Torrington Wyoming.  Even in little ol’ Goshen County, you have lots of options on who you choose to be your photographer.  Find someone who will give your family, and or even more specifically your spouse, the kind of session he or she needs to feel good about photo sessions.

Ask potential photographers what their style is.  Get recommendations from other families like you.  Discuss your concerns with a potential photographer before you book with them.  Share your concerns about a middle-age paunch, double chin or baby weight with your photographer and ask what they recommend for clothing or poses.

Bottom line, you need a photographer that hears your concerns and meets your needs.

I had a dad tell me a few weeks ago “You know, that wasn’t half bad.  Thank you.”

Music to my ears.

I’d love to be your family photographer.  But I might not be the right fit for your family.  And that’s okay.  This is about giving you beautiful memories, not about my bottom line.

(Want to know a little more about me and see if we could be photography BFFs?  Click here!)

2 – Choose a time and date that makes it easy on your family.

Family photos in the fall are the bomb.   The leaves, the sunsets, the cute sweater and boots  we ladies get to wear…SWOON.  But it’s also a CRAZY busy time of year.  There are kids to drive to sports, sugar beets to harvest, deer to be hunted and Broncos games to be watched.  Consider the needs and wants and schedule of your family first.  If you’re trying to cram in a family photos session on a weekend where you have 62 other things going on because you simply must have pretty leaves, it’s going to add to everyone’s stress levels.  Don’t do that to yourself!  No one will have fun and it won’t make your spouse any more inclined to take photos the next time.

Sometimes, this might mean putting off photos for a season.  Winter, spring and summer photos can all be just as beautiful as fall photos, I promise.

Time of day can also impact the experience.  Sunset photos are are so dreamy, but if your kids start hitting maximum levels of tired and cranky at 5 p.m. and your session isn’t until 7 p.m., that might not work.  Photographers love to shoot in the golden hour (an hour before sunset) because that’s when the light is softest and beautiful.  But a good photographer can also suggest locations for shoots earlier in the day that can still meet your needs.

A joyful family that is relaxed and having fun with one another is more beautiful than a harried or stressed family every day of the week.

3 – Find the right pace.

Know your family’s tolerance level and schedule  a session that fits your needs.  This might mean a 20 minute mini-session or a 90 minute private session.  The trick is balancing the time needed to take the photos you want with the interest and cooperation level of your spouse and kids.

Talk with your spouse about why he or she didn’t like having family photos taken the last time.  He might say “It drug on for too long!”  Or she might say “Those mini-sessions just feel so rushed and make us all crazy.”

Listen to their concerns.  Then try to meet those concerns with your own visions of photography Nirvana.  Talk with your photographer about the images you want to walk away from the session with and see what he or she recommends.  A quality photographer will help you find the session that’s right for you, not just sell you’re the most expensive package because they’ll make more money.

(Find a photography package that fits your family here!  I can also provide a custom quote!)

4 – Let them be comfortable.  Just a spiffier version of comfortable.

A few weeks ago, an online photography friend was discussing what she should buy her husband to wear for their photos.  She had picked this beautiful evergreen crushed velvet skirt and cream lacy Victorian shirt.  It was something straight out of Wuthering Heights and it was gorgeous.  Other photographers quickly suggested a mustard colored shirt, maroon suspenders, a chauffeur’s cap, knickers, a bow tie or a top hat and tails for her husband.

If I told my husband we were taking family photos and he was going to wear knickers and a chauffeur’s cap…I can’t even imagine his reaction.  Something akin to “Have you lost your damn mind?”

Oh, he’d probably do it because he loves me.  But he wouldn’t be comfortable, feel at his best, or feel like his authentic self.  And that uncertainty would come out in his attitude toward the entire experience and show in your photos.

Think about it.  Have you ever had to wear clothes that just weren’t you?  Maybe a truly loathsome bridesmaid’s dress, a tuxedo or something else that was chosen for you, not by you?  Did you feel good about yourself?  Did you enjoy the experience as much as you could have? Probably not.

(This also holds true for kids, by the way.)

Choose outfits that allow your family to feel like themselves…just a little bit spiffier version of themselves.  The goal is authenticity and joy, not perfection.

(Need some more help on outfits?  Read my guide to choosing outfits for family portraits here!)

5 – Learn to Relax and Have fun.

Schedule your session, choose appropriate outfits then do your best to relax and have fun.  Your attitude will carry the day.  If you are relaxed and laughing and joking, your family will also relax.  If you’re stressed and rushing and barking at the kids, everyone else will feed off of your nerves and get wound up too.  So try to let go and enjoy the moment.

The more you all enjoy the process, the more you’ll love your images and the more you’ll be willing to do it again.  And speaking of letting go, remember…

6 – Family Photos are about family, not perfection

My last bit of advice is to try to focus on taking images that represent your family in this moment and season of your lives.  It’s not a competition to have the most epic family photo shoot or seeing how many Pinterest poses you can recreate because they are JUST SO CUTE.  Your family photo session should be about carving out some time to connect, love and record where you are RIGHT NOW as a family.   For me, that means a six year old that insists on striking a weird model pose anytime a camera comes out and some bags under my eyes from too much time at the computer.  For your family, it might mean a sullen teenager, a little girl in jeans and boots instead of a dress, your wife’s wonky tan lines, your husband’s farmer’s tan , a nine year old that has a temporary tattoo that isn’t as temporary as promised or a 2 year old that won’t look at the camera.

And that’s okay.  Because it’s real.

Twenty years from now I want you to look back at your family photos and remember the joy and love and silliness and fun you had.  I want those photos to trigger other memories of all the ups and downs of life as a family.

I want you to have a positive experience that you cherish.  Even if it’s not with me!

–Teresa