December 12, 2018 / Country Lifestyle Inspiration and Motivation
Perfectionism is just a fancy word for fear | Wyoming photographer and blogger
I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it’s just terrified. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more than a deep existential angst that says, again and again, ‘I am not good enough and I will never be good enough.”
When I heard this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert, it was like a punch to the gut.
Perfectionism is a lie we tell ourselves. We trick ourselves into believing that we can control our fear by controlling the minutiae of life. It’s a bit like a shell game. We hide that fear under a shell and keep swapping it around for a less scary, less vulnerable character trait. Calling that fear perfectionism or Type-A or controlling isn’t flattering, exactly, but it allows us to hide from the root cause…that we don’t feel good enough for the world.
I do it, too. Constantly.
| What I say | What I mean |
| I just want these photos to be perfect for my client. | I’m scared. What if they hate them? Did I screw up? Am I really good enough to get paid for this work? |
| I don’t have time to finish that novel. | Who do I think I am to write a novel? Like anyone would read it. |
And it’s bullocks. Total crap.But it is fear. Fear of rejection, ridicule, inferiority…you name it.
The quality of my photography has nothing to do with my self-worth. Sure, it might mean I’m a lousy photographer. But even being a lousy photographer doesn’t speak to who I am inside. Neither does my writing ability. Or my lack of athletic prowess or total and complete ineptitude for Pinterest crafts.
I could write the world’s worst novel or take a thousand, God-awful photos and I am still worthy. Worthy of love, kindness and friendship. I am good enough. I will always be good enough.
My husband, friends and family loved and supported me before I ever picked up a camera professionally. They will love me even if my business, novel, hair-style or pie crusts are big fat failures. Yours will too, I promise. And if they don’t, THEY are the ones who are not good enough for YOU.
So join me in letting go. Let go of the fear. Stop dressing it up and letting it waste our time as perfectionism. Instead of stressing the details, let’s put that energy into something productive…a class to improve our skills, time spent planning, an hour of practice, a walk outside to clear your head and restore your soul…anything but the pointless pursuit of an unattainable standard.
It’s back to sweatpants and stained t-shirts for you fear. It is you who is not good enough for me any longer.
